Week 2, Saturday & Sunday!

So after my post yesterday I decided to go run anyway!  I ran for about half an hour, doing two miles.  I walked 8 minutes, another 10 minutes (alternating 1 minute running with 1 minute walking), then a cool down walk to my house.  That's a total of 5 minutes of running...ha!  It sounds like so little, but still an improvement.

I took a risk running again today, because I was worried about my hips, but I'm glad I did.  I feel great and my hips don't hurt at all.  The stretching is helping I think!  Today I did just a little over two miles (added another block to my route) in about 30 minutes.  I walked for 6 minutes, then alternated 2 minutes of running with 2 minutes of walking (did this three times), then did the cool down walk home.  SIX MINUTES of running!  Again, I know it sounds absurd to be so excited about something so insignificant, but I'm improving each time I run...that's an awesome feeling!

Since I ran twice in a row, I'm thinking I won't run again until Tuesday or Wednesday.  I know my hips feel mostly fine but I still want to be sure I don't injure anything.  I might do the same run I did today again next week just to be safe, but I'll see how I feel.

Last night I had another major accomplishment. I was at home alone, being said because my roommate was out partying with "Rick" who still isn't talking to me -- and while I was in my bathroom I noticed a giant cockroach crawling around in there.  This thing was massive and it scared the shit out of me.  I pulled out my Raid insect spray and sprayed it about 20 times to make sure it was really dead.  That was the easy part, though.  Once I knew for sure it was dead, I had to figure out how to get rid of it's corpse...there's no way I could keep using my bathroom in peace until that thing was gone!  It took about half an hour of me talking myself up and screwing up enough nerve to go back into the bathroom and deal with it, but I'm proud to say I finally just took a deep breath and got it done.  Of course, I hope I never have to do that again; next time I just plan on screaming like a little girl until my roommate comes in and does it for me, but still.  It made me feel proud of myself.  After a heartbreak, it's the little things that make you feel good again...

like disposing of a dead, rat-sized cockroach, or running six minutes! :)

Letter Unsent

Dear Rick*,

Last time you rejected me, I made a list of reasons I would never want to date you, in case you came back days or weeks down the line and said you'd changed your mind.  I wanted to remember exactly why I was better off without you.

After forgiving you and becoming friends, you've done it again--but this time it's way worse.  Since you won't talk to me, I've decided the only way I'm ever going to get everything out of my system is to make another list like the one I made last time.  Anytime I get the urge to contact you, or if you contact me and want to be in my life again, I am going to look at this list to remind myself that you're a piece of shit that I don't want or need in my life.  Here goes.

Reasons I do not want you:

• You never wanted to do anything with me except drink at The Dive* and then drunkenly crawl into my bed afterwards.  Every time you did something except going to the bar, I never got invited.  You've never asked me to see a movie with you or even taken me to dinner.  Remember Midtown? Or that fancy South American place?  I sat at home wondering why you invited everyone except me while you were out classing it up with your shitty friends. But whenever you wanted to slum it at the nasty dive bar full of sad, creepy old men, I was the first one you thought of.  Thanks.  As much fun as I had drinking with you, I'd rather wait for someone who thinks I'm special enough to take out to a nice dinner once in awhile.
• You never listened to a word I said.  You acted like everything that came out of my mouth was the stupidest thing you'd ever heard...and that was when you actually shut up long enough to let me get a sentence out.  I lost count of how many times I got interrupted because you had something oh-so-much more important to say.  And it was usually something that just made you look like an ass.
• Here's the biggest reason: when you started to have feelings, instead of coming to me and telling me how you felt, you pussied out and just cut me out of your life like it was nothing.  Then you put me through the awful humiliation of having to beg you to give me the reason.  You became one of my best friends; I trusted you to talk to me and be honest with me.  And now you've abandoned me and you don't even care.  I am truly sorry if I hurt you, but you didn't have to let it get to this point.  While I was moping around on the couch being sad and wondering why you wouldn't talk to me, you were out partying it up all weekend with my roommate.  You just don't give a shit at all, despite all the bullshit you fed me while we were friends.

So that's it.  I doubt I'll ever really hear from you again, but if I do, I can promise that one look at this list will remind me of what a dipshit you are and any lingering feelings or soft spot I might have for you will disappear.  So you might as well just not bother.  Have a nice life.

Sincerely,

-Annie G.

*Names of people and places have been changed to protect my anonymity.

Week 2 - Saturday

Well I haven't run since the last time.  I've been getting off work super late and felt that sleep and rest was my biggest priority.  Last night I went drinking and was a little hungover this morning.  Tomorrow will be a run day for sure.  I don't feel bad or guilty about missing a run, I listened to my body to figure out that one 20-minute workout wasn't worth feeling exhausted and cranky.  Sleep was more important.

It's frustrating getting off work so late, but hopefully it's just temporary.  I'm taking a section of the CPA exam in a few weeks.  Once that's over, I want to see if I can make time for running and lifting weights at the gym a couple of times a week.  My real work busy season (it's not even busy season yet and I'm staying until 10:00 PM some nights!) starts in January but I think I can still keep up the running three times a week during busy season.  For now I'm just happy I'll get to run tomorrow!